Below is Gerry's Premier League football betting preview for the weekend Sat 22nd to Sun 23rd March 2008.
The views expressed are solely those of the author.
Even though I was brought up as a Catholic, I have never followed a spiritual path. I blame an over-zealous Priest for my descent into heresy; he was constantly on my back when I was young. If my memory serves me correctly, Easter is a time to reflect upon the resurrection of Christ. Its believed that after three days, He rose again. I dont want to diminish the significance, but Id fancy Pele to beat that. The Geordies believe that King Keegan is the one true Messiah; it would be sacrilegious not to back Newcastle at 10/11 against Fulham.
Jesus may have forgiven Robbie Keane for his petulant reaction to being substituted last weekend, but Juande Ramos was apoplectic. I have a lot of sympathy for Keane in this case; its an emotional time when youre being pulled off. Ill happily play with the even money for a Tottenham win over Portsmouth.
John Carew may not be scoring regularly on the pitch, but if press reports are to be believed, hes managed to bag Strictly Come Dancing star Alesha Dixon. Ive seen pictures of Alesha, and one bag may not be enough. Ill need a large container to carry home my winnings after Aston Villa see off Sunderland at 3/5.
Its rare that I shower praise upon Steve Bruce, but his decision to drop Titus Bramble was outstanding. Bruce knows what it takes to become a top class defender; he played alongside Gary Pallister. 4/5 had been placed alongside a Blackburn win over Wigan. Im on.
Thaksin Shinawatra is not a happy man. The Thai businessman has reportedly claimed that City are losing too many games in his absence, and he may have to tighten the bolt on his return. If I was Sven, Id be worried. Id be ringing up Ulrika, but Id certainly be worried. Bolton can ensure the bolt is tightened with a win at 6/4.
Middlesbrough will be without Mido after he saw red for kicking Gael Clichy in the head. The Egyptian should be ashamed of his actions, as should the players who gave him the lift up. Lets all rise to celebrate the 1/2 for a Middlesbrough win over Derby.
Im quite ashamed to admit that I have something in common with the impious Martin Taylor. Were both often referred to as tiny, although for Martin, its an ironic reference. The 23/20 for a Reading win over Birmingham is healthily proportioned.
Its great to see the West Ham production line coming up trumps once again. Freddie Sears looks a great prospect, but Im not overly impressed with the Alan Shearer goal celebration; it takes too long to kick Neil Lennon, creosote a fence and unsettle the Newcastle management. Everton are going for a treble over the Hammers this season, I have to play at 3/4.
Steven Gerrard was upset when Rio Ferdinand claimed that Liverpool were not among the best teams in Europe. To be fair to Rio, he was misquoted - he meant to say that Liverpool were not among the best teams in England. Liverpool have lost their last four league meetings with their bitter rivals, and have failed to score in their last six. United can extend that run at 11/10.
Chelsea meet Arsenal in the 2nd part of Grand Slam Super Mega Awesome Sunday, in a dress rehearsal for the Champions League semi-final. Ive studied Chelseas win ratio in the big games under Avram Grant, it didnt take long. Arsenal are turning into draw specialists, Ill happily take the 9/4 for a tie.
Jesus would not be happy with the vitriolic abuse aimed at Heather Mills after her divorce from Paul McCartney. I look at is as a value gamble on Heathers part, she risked negative press and the occasional slap for a healthy financial settlement.
Accer of the week:
I was quite surprised that she received as much as £24m; I think she must have shown the judge a little leg.
Blackburn, Middlesbrough, Everton and a Chelsea draw form a 13/1 accer that will hopefully lead to an equally impressive return.
Tottenham v Portsmouth Saturday 22nd March 12:45 Live on Sky
Get on: Tottenham
Aston Villa v Sunderland Saturday 22nd March 15:00
Aston Villa 3/5
Get on: Aston Villa
Blackburn v Wigan Saturday 22nd March 15:00
Get on: Blackburn
Bolton v Man City Saturday 22nd March 15:00
Man City 2/1
Get on: Bolton
Middlesbrough v Derby Saturday 22nd March 15:00
Get on: Middlesbrough
Newcastle v Fulham Saturday 22nd March 15:00
Get on: Newcastle
Reading v Birmingham Saturday 22nd March 15:00
Get on: Reading
Everton v West Ham Saturday 22nd March 17:15 Live on Setanta
West Ham 4/1
Get on: Everton
Man Utd v Liverpool Sunday 23rd March 13:30 Live on Sky
Man Utd 11/10
Get on: Man Utd
Chelsea v Arsenal Sunday 23rd March 16:00 Live on Sky
Get on: Draw