Below is Gerry's Premier League football betting preview for the weekend Sat 1st to Sun 2nd September 2007.
The views expressed are solely those of the author.
Ive recently learned the hard way that you should never discuss politics and religion. My lodger and I became embroiled in a furious row over the conflict in Iraq. Dave was very vocal in his condemnation of Bush; but he flew off the handle when I criticised Brown. It almost came to blows. The day after our acrimonious political altercation, we fell out over his attempt to convert the wife into devout Christianity. I was less than pleased when I arrived home from work early to hear a chant of Oh God emanating from the spare bedroom. As a result of our constant bickering, I had to ask Dave to move out. He didnt react well to my decision; he tried to smash my back door in. The wife was extremely disappointed with the unpleasant outcome, as shed literally bent over backwards to make him feel welcome.
Roy Keane and Alex Ferguson can empathise with my predicament. Sir Alex had to offload the busy Irishman after he criticised a number of team-mates. I can understand why Fergie was so upset; only a mug would buy Kieran Richardson after Keanes vitriolic volley. The return of Uniteds prodigal son has added real spice to Sunderlands trip to Old Trafford. A case can be made for backing the Mackems at 18/1, but it has more holes than Amy Winehouse. I have to side with Manchester United at 1/4.
Robbie Savage has his critics, but Id happily place the Welshman alongside Keane, Vieira and Makelele; if I was creating an odd one out question. The 5/4 for a Blackburn win over Manchester City stands out like a sore thumb.
When I heard that Kieron Dyer had broken his leg in two places, my immediate thoughts were Lee Bowyers house and Craig Bellamys golf club. West Ham are a different side to the team that were on the end of a 6-0 shoeing at Reading last season, the Hammers can take revenge at 23/10.
Cheryl Cole surprisingly turned down a £150,000 Bentley from her wealthy husband, because she felt she didnt earn it. The solution is pretty obvious. Im going down the bookies to take 13/5 for a draw between Aston Villa and Chelsea.
Id love to see Sammy Lee succeed at Bolton, but the only way hell still be employed at Christmas is if he finds six pals. An Everton win at the Reebok is available at 2/1; thats plenty big enough.
How on earth were Fulham not awarded a penalty against Aston Villa last week? Craig Gardners handling in the area was so impressive; Petr Cech and John Terry both rang to congratulate him. Lawrie Sanchez is probably the unluckiest manager in the league at the minute, Spurs can take advantage at 11/8.
Pompey are set to release David Nugent a mere month after splashing out £6m on him. Such an eventuality would have been a 999/1 shot on the exchanges, but it wouldnt have lasted long. The 8/15 for Arsenal beating Pompey is equally as attractive.
Liverpool v Derby may well prove to be the greatest mismatch since Kate Moss paired off with Pete Doherty. The master songsmith could have done a lot better. You wont find a bigger banker than Liverpool at 2/9.
I was disappointed to see Mido react to inflammatory chants last weekend. A professional footballer is paid handsomely to ignore provocation from the crowd, and Mido makes good bread. All of our finances will receive a boost if we take the 11/10 for a Middlesbrough win over Birmingham.
The FAs decision to launch an enquiry into the Newcastle supporters behaviour is typically over the top. If you ask me, its being blown out of all proportion. Ill happily make a fuss over the 3/4 for a Newcastle win over Wigan.
Accer of the week:
Mido labelled the offending supporters as drunks after the match, which I found quite offensive. I partake in the occasional swift few beers myself, but Im not a drunk; Im a connoisseur of the liquid bint-thinner.
A 14/1 weekend accer of Middlesbrough, Newcastle, Man Utd, Arsenal and Blackburn will pay for enough lager to drop the wife down a few sizes.
Bolton v Everton Saturday 1st September 15:00
Get on: Everton
Match Special: Andy Johnson to score the only goal of the game 33/1
Fulham v Tottenham Saturday 1st September 15:00
Get on: Tottenham
Match Special: Berbatov to score at any time 2/1
Liverpool v Derby Saturday 1st September 15:00
Get on: Liverpool
Match Special: Torres to score two or more goals 4/1
Middlesbrough v Birmingham Saturday 1st September 15:00
Get on: Middlesbrough
Match Special: Middlesbrough to win and keep a clean sheet 13/5
Newcastle v Wigan Saturday 1st September 15:00
Get on: Newcastle
Match Special: Newcastle to score three or more goals 3/1
Reading v West Ham Saturday 1st September 15:00
West Ham 23/10
Get on: West Ham
Match Special: Bellamy to score from outside the penalty area 8/1
Man Utd v Sunderland Saturday 1st September 17:15 Live on Setanta
Man Utd 1/4
Get on: Man Utd
Match Special: Tevez and Nani both to score 7/1
Arsenal v Portsmouth Sunday 2nd September 13:30 Live on Sky
Get on: Arsenal
Match Special: Arsenal to score four or more goals 5/1
Blackburn v Man City Sunday 2nd September 15:00
Man City 12/5
Get on: Blackburn
Match Special: Santa Cruz to score the first goal 13/2
Aston Villa v Chelsea Sunday 2nd September 16:00 Live on Sky
Aston Villa 5/1
Get on: Draw
Match Special: Reo-Coker to score in a 1-1 draw 50/1